Dental Holidays

Moon River, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style

2009-08-12T08:00:00.012+02:00

This is my last blog for Dentaprime.

When the overestimated sun takes the place of the gorgeous, underestimated moon,
I will take on a new challenge.

For quite some time now, I have a still largely unwritten book on the shelf, which lies on top of some excellent ideas about professional (blog-)writing. Also, I enjoy taking photos like the above.
Therefore, as of tomorrow, I will give self-employment (combined with a new part-time job) a try.

Remember:

Avoid alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

One should never generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Be more or less specific.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Take care and let Dentaprime take care of your teeth!

The lion sleeps tonight

2009-08-11T08:00:00.001+02:00

There is something about this lion's eyes.

The first time I looked at them, I saw sadness.
The second time, thoughtfulness.
Then wisdom.
At last weariness.

The lion sleeps too tight?

The lion does not sleep at all?

If your teeth give you sleepless nights, give us a call and we will guide you through the dental jungle.

I wanna break free

2009-08-10T08:00:00.003+02:00

Freddy Mercury's huge overbite is world-famous. Mercury did not want any dental work done, because he was afraid it would affect his voice.

The overbite was caused by 4 extra teeth that pushed their way to what they thought was second best to freedom: the front of the line.

Such an overbite (but also a smaller one) can cause serious dental problems and soon turn a Bohemian Rhapsody into a Rhapsody in Blue.

When you look in the mirror with closed teeth and see less than half of your lower teeth....
When you look from the side and see your teeth stick out more than normal....
You have an overbite.

You will wear fixed braces, followed by a retainer and after perhaps 5 years, the teeth can participate in a line dance again.

We do not place mercury but we do place veneers, which will be the cherries on the long-baked cake....

Bubbling Almelo (last time, a truck had lost its load of washing powder)

2009-08-06T08:00:00.004+02:00

This week, I will spend a long weekend in the Eastern part of The Netherlands. I will probably visit Enschede (do not try to pronounce it; your throat may not survive the brave attempt.)

On 13th May 2000, the SE Fireworks depot in Enschede exploded. 22 People were killed (amongst whom 4 firemen) and 947 were injured. This is what the houses looked like, some time after the explosion.

This part of my country is highly underestimated. Hey, if I did not have two best friends and 7 wonderful cats living in Almelo, I would never even come close...

These people have

a strange accent

at least one wishy-washy soccer team (have to be careful: friends read this blog)

a ridiculous pop band called Normal

a brewery not called Heineken but Grolsch

an industrial zone called Furious Filthy (Dollegoor)

a comedian named Herman (after the first transgenic bull in the world)

etc. etc. etc.

And now -for 3 days only- they have me.

Look, Potter! You've got yourself a girlfriend. (Draco Malfoy)

2009-08-05T08:00:00.002+02:00

I am a huge Potter fan, but The Halfblood Prince left me disappointed and annoyed.

Disappointed, because Potter's 6th was more like a highschool story: Harry, Hermione and Ron falling in and out of love.

Annoyed, because ever since I was born, I hate open endings.

The open endings of horror movies keep people coming back for more.
Did you watch Friday the 13th, part 12?
Nightmare on Elm Street, part 8?
Halloween, part 9?
Or did you get a good laugh with Scary Movie, part 4?

At the end of the Greek tragedy Antigone, the protagonist's sister Ismene simply disappears after saying goodbye to daddy Oedipussy and burying her brother Polynices.

Unfinished work from composers never leads to complete satisfaction. I always have the feeling that the best is yet to come. What to think of John and Yoko's 'Two Virgins'?

Dental treatment is one of the things that should not have an open ending. There has to be a clear treatment plan, a more or less reliable cost estimate (medical treatment always involves certain risks), and reasons why someting is (not) done.

Worrying about Harry's dental health (in none of the books or films he has a consultation), I look forward to HP7.

In Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows, when Harry finally meets Voldemort, the lad turns out to be a dentist....

On the edge of a nervous breakdown

2009-08-04T08:00:00.001+02:00

These are houses. Real houses, not Lego-built.

Let's try to find another picture.....

Slightly better but it still makes me feel nauseous...

My sign is Cancer and that means I am very, very conservative. I prefer sticking with the old to trying something new. I always go to the same restaurants, ordering the same meal for years. If there is a new owner or the menu changes radically, I'm gone.

The architect of these houses may be a very nice, competent man, but his design gives me the creeps. Living in a square house would make me very insecure.

In something called ' hyperbolic geometry', squares with right angles do not exist.
Where would I put my huge flatscreen tv? Where my Kingsize bed for Queens?

In 'spherical geometry', a square is a polygon whose edges are great circle arcs....
See.... again a square with round edges!

In 'Euclidean geometry', finally, a square is a regular quadrilateral.
I cannot pronounce the second word, but the first sounds good to me: regular.

Thank God for Dentaprime's waiting room, where the edges are.... uhm..... round?

Stand up comedy in Bulgaria

2009-08-03T08:00:00.007+02:00

“How could they choose Leonardo di Caprio for the movie, he is so effeminate. They should have chosen Bruce Willis.”

“If it were Bruce Willis, the Titanic would never have sunk.”

Bruce Willis' ex, actress Demi Moore, recently published a photo on the Internet where she visits the dentist and misses a front tooth.

Now GI Jane is rich enough to pay the dentist and have the missing tooth replaced by a bridge or an implant. Other people, however, have to tolerate an ugly plate, an old-fashioned Maryland bridge or -even worse- a gap.

'Mind The Gap'

is an announcement that is used by the London Underground when a train arrives at a station.
The biggest gaps to mind today are at Bank Station and at Waterloo Station. The female voice on the announcement is nicknamed 'Sonia' by tube drivers, because her voice 'gets on yer nerves.’

In recent tests somebody mimicking the voice of Marilyn Monroe proved to be a favourite.

I would prefer Joanna Lumley:

'Oops... Mind the gap,

sweetie daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarling.'

(Pats falling into the gap.)

Anyway..... please ask me about the options to replace a missing front tooth.

The deerhunters

2009-07-31T08:00:00.005+02:00

Yesterday, I felt a bit like a disaster tourist. A deer was spotted next to our office and people were trying to catch it and (hopefully) bring it back to where it belonged.

Now wait a minute.... What's that between those brackets?

Well... I have heard some stories about wildlife being consumed instead of released.
You know what they say:

Man, when perfected, is the best of animals,
but when separated from law and justice,
he is the worst of all.
(Aristotle)

This is one of the fears of people who consider seeking treatment abroad. What can be done when something goes terribly wrong? Please visit our webiste http://www.dentaprime.co.uk/ and read under 'Guarantee' how we eliminated that risk for you.

Eliminated...

Oh deer....

If this is Batman....

2009-07-30T08:00:00.005+02:00

How the hell

will Robin look?

That is why they wear these suits, of course!

People try to keep up appearances, especially in sitcoms.

No doubt, the most famous example is the Bucket who wants to be a Bouquet. Driving her husband Richard and all neighbours crazy, Hyacinth spends her days trying to sneak into the upper class.

Remember George and Mildred? Mildred always tried to fit in the nice neighbourhood and then George would spoil it all by picking his nose in public or buying a twenty-hand car.

The reverse can even be sadder. Until she marries him, upper-class Audrey fforbes-Hamilton (who has to move out because her husband left her with bankruptcy), despises the nouveau riche 'grocer', who has bought the manor to which she was born.

It's of all time, though.

Hygiene methods were very primitive in Tudor England, but people did their utmost to keep themselves looking attractive. Bad body odour was commented on. Henry VIII gossiped about Anne of Cleves. He said she had 'very evil smells about'.
By the end of her reign, Elizabeth had only a few remaining teeth and was commented on the yellowness. Veneers and some implants would have suited her fine.

Whether we like it or not, the first impression someone makes on others highly depends on appearances. Let's find out how we can help!

Black, black, my love is black

2009-07-29T08:00:00.003+02:00

The Black Sea once was called 'inhospitable sea'. The low visibility in the sea must have scared people. At that time they still thought that they could fall off the earth and the land at the Eastern end of the Black Sea (now Georgia) was thought to be one of its edges.

In our clinic, there is top visibility. We not only tell you what we think is best, but also the reason why and there will be a cost estimate as well.

Hospitality also is very important. You are our VIP and we do everything to emphasize that. We offer a free shuttle service from the airport, a nice waiting room with a non-dentist ambience and , superb dental treatment and, of course, sufficient time to find out about your personal best superb dental treatment.

Blue, blue, my love is blue

2009-07-28T08:00:00.006+02:00

Our clinic is located near the Black Sea.
I wonder why it is Black Sea and not Blue Sea?

Blue sounds positive:
Blue Danube
Blue jeans
Rhapsody in blue
Blue Peter

Black sounds negative:
Black sheep
Black cat
A black day
The black death

Films like Black Water (2007) do not contribute to a better image either.

'A terrifying tale of survival in the mangrove swamps.'

However, I am sure the sea will be quite happy with its name after it has seen this mould.

Make those teeth shine bright

2009-07-27T08:00:00.003+02:00

Most people use tablets to clean their dentures.
I use dishwashing fluid.

Why?
Because the dental technician told me to.
He said the tablets do clean but also roughen up the artificial teeth.

Never heard of that before.

People, of course, are using the tablets because no one ever saw dishwashing fluids and dentures in the same comercial....

Come to think of it..... I once saw a billboard...... It was not about dishwashing fluid, though.

Titani uhm...

2009-07-24T08:00:00.001+02:00

Daily Chronicle, July 1912
Sidney Samuel Jacobsohn died on April 15, 1912, being at that time a passenger on the SS Titanic.
On March 25, 1912 his will was placed in a trunk, which was put on board the Titanic. The wife was saved and swears that when she left her husband the trunk was in the cabin they occupied on the Titanic.
On July 23, 1912 the draft was accepted until the original would be found. The value of the estate Mr Jacobsohn left to his wife was 12.000 Pounds.

Until the original would be found. Sure... "Hey Mr White Shark, can you please drop the piece of paper that's hanging out of your beak?"

We do not deal in wills, but we do give out passports. Implant passports, that is. All we need is a nice mug shot of the implant and... Sorry, just trotting on.

An implant passport is inevitable when you decide to have one part of the treatment (the implantation) somewhere and another part (the crowns, bridges op or dentures) somewhere else. It contains the brand, type and measures of the implant and whether it is made of titanium or zirconia. Many dentists/clinics do not provide their patients with such a passport. They simply assume that patients will return, even if they were not satisfied about the implantation.

Of course we will cry if you choose for another clinic, but we will cry even harder if you come to us with implants but without a passport. Even Dentaprime will not be able to help you without those details.

The good, the bad and the ugly

2009-07-23T08:00:00.009+02:00

I just read that Michael Jackson's father Joe thinks his son is murdered. Now I could write some nasty things, including a few superb word jokes, about the King Father of Pop, but even that would be too much attention for the man. (Did you see him smile during the memorial service?) Let's just ask ourselves

Who's bad?

Not Dentaprime.....

Your teeth are mine
Gonna treat them right
You will smile again in broad daylight
I'm telling you
'Bout what I'll do
Gonna place a bridge
And an implant too
Come on, come on,
Say Ah for me
All right...

I'm giving you
A crown or three
The best for teeth
As you will see . . .
I'm telling you
You will look fine
I know for sure
Just look at mine

Well they say a song should rhyme
And I know that is really true
So you come to Dentaprime
And see how we help you . . .

Because we're good, we're good

(You know it, you know it)

22nd July 1582: Willem van Orange moves from Antwerp to Delft

2009-07-22T08:00:00.004+02:00

Some moves are just not wise...
(Willem was shot to death in Delft.)

Orange also is the name of a disco club in the Bulgarian resort Sunny Beach.

All of Dentaprime's 'no shows' are people who think the distance between Sunny Beach and our clinic is 10 miles at the most. These people have a twisted idea of Bulgaria.

They think of it as a twin sister of Wales (20.779 square kms.) It is not. It is Wales' BIG sister (five times as large.)

Which reminds me of the movie in which Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny de Vito play twin brothers and -using very free association- this brings me to the twins and triplets in your mouth.

In each quarter of your mouth, the premolars and incisors are twins and the molars are triplets. Only the canine is without siblings. Poor thing...

There is one canine that did not suffer from an attention shortage, though.

Once upon a long long time ago, a monk nicked the left upper canine tooth from the deceased Buddha.
In the 4th century, the same tooth was hidden in the hair of a princess to keep it safe during a time of political crisis.
In 1560 the Portuguese captured the Tooth. They took it to Goa where an Archbishop burned it. Sri Lankan kings, however, sometimes had replicas of the Tooth made and it turned out that th Portuguese had captured one of these replicas.
The real Tooth was brought to Kandy (Sri Lanka) where it has remained ever since. You can visit it in its own temple: The Temple of ..... Tooth.

The Simpsons

2009-07-21T08:00:00.002+02:00

'The Juice' was one of the NFL's most dominating running backs.
He should have known better, though.
In Dutch, Oh jee (O.J.) means something like Oh Oh.....
No wonder Oh Jee Simpson made his most famous run (from the law) after his ex-wife was found murdered.

Just like a jaw after an implantation, a base ball is kept together with stitches. Ours are not red and a bit thinner, but they are also non self-desolving. After ten days, a dentist has to take them out.

Talking about stitches: the Whitechapel Gallery in London wants to invite Stitch & Bitch Brittons to participate in an interactive commission curated by artist Richard Wentworth. Wentworth is the inaugural curator for a year-long commission titled A Confiscation of String.

They say all donations are welcome and they don’t have to be particularly “arty”, so maybe you can glue your Dentaprime stitches on a piece of painting canvas.

The man on the moon

2009-07-20T08:00:00.003+02:00

Today exactly 40 years ago, Neil Armstrong stepped on the Moon.

The Moon said: "OUCH! Can't you watch where you're going, Lance?"
Armstrong said: "I'm Neil, not Lance. Lance isn't even born yet!"

The Moon said: "Whatever. Just watch where you're going. Why aren't you going to Mars?"
Armstrong said: "Because I'm more the Bounty kind of guy."
The Moon said: "But there's a mutiny on the Bounty."

Armstrong said: "That was in 1789, Moon."
The Moon said: "Right! On 14th July!"
Armstrong said: "That's when the French Revolution started, Moon."
The Moon said: "I remember. Dawn French finally killed Jennifer Saunders!"

Completely fed up, Armstrong banged his flag into Moon

Moon said: "OUCH! Can't you watch where you're going, Louis?"

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful (Ann Landers)

2009-07-17T08:00:00.001+02:00

About 7 years ago, we made a choice. We bought ourselves a Poodle.

Initial costs: 600 Euros.

He has indigestion and can only eat freeze-dried raw pet food. Costs up to now: 5.000 Euros.

He has a problem with his eyes. Vet: 700 Euros.

He is a Poodle so he goes to the hairdresser: 1.500 Euros.

Bones, bowls, toys and leads: 200 Euros.

That makes a total of 8.000 Euros.

For that money, we receive so much love, fun, loyalty, physical exercise and protection (hm....), that we gladly pay our invoices.

For that money, we also could have had 8 dental implants, but who ever heard of a dental implant that carefully lies down on your tummy when you are drowning in self-pity?

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon (Doug Larson)

2009-07-16T08:00:00.002+02:00

Down Syndrome life expectancy has been increasing substantially over time.

When my brother was born, it was 18-20. He is 52 now....

Heart problems still are the no 1 cause of death. However, over the years, many bypass operations and even heart transplants were successfully performed. So if you have a young child with Down Syndrome in 2009, the chance that he/she will out live you is huge.

People often ask me about the life expectancy of dental implants, veneers, bridges and crowns. Unfortunately, it is impossible to tell. If you live like a beast, life may be a feast, but -eventually- even the best tooth replacements will give up on you. If you live like a Saint, but bite on a pebble in your club sandwich, even the best crown will break.

Our dentists, implantologist and dental technicians do their utmost to provide you with the best tooth replacement possible. Please treat them as your children (the tooth replacements, not our staff.)

She ain't heavy, she's my partner

2009-07-15T08:15:00.005+02:00

Jujutsu literally means "arts of softness". It is one word for several Japanese martial arts styles. In the old Japan, it was used by the Samurai to defeat an armed opponent without weapons. Some examples of martial arts that have developed from or have been influenced by jujutsu are: Aikido, Judo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Kapap.

Hm... Kapap. I like that in pita bread! Sorry, that's kabab. Mixing up words there. Just like the girl who sent me an e-mail and told me that she had train tracks. Only after I searched on the Internet, I found out that she used the correct words and that she was talking braces.

I had to tell her to find another dentist. we do not do them in Bulgaria. After placing the braces, for 1-3 years, you have to visit the dentist every 6 weeks. Just imagine flying to Bulgaria every 6 weeks.... All your savings would go up into the thin air of an airplane cabin!

Only braces can actually straighten teeth. However, with veneers and crowns we can make most teeth appear straight.

I often end this blog with a good laugh, so....

7 or 8 years ago, Monique and I were at the beach. She did not do jiu-jitsu back then, but had a brown belt in Judo. I was older, taller and at least 30 kilos heavier, so I felt pretty safe when I challenged her. Within a split second, I landed flat on my back. While I was thinking of good tactics and inimitable moves, she had simply thrown me over her shoulder.

Love comes from the most unexpected places (and so does a cat)

2009-07-14T08:00:00.007+02:00

"Here kitty..... Here Billie..... Billie food.... food.... food....! Billie mouse no BIRD in da house!"

I can call and search, yell and worry and shout and curse for hours, but unless Queen Cat decides to grant me the honour, she will not respond to it.

If you contact Dentaprime by e-mail, I will always respond within 24 hours. Unless it is a Friday or Saturday, of course. I am a work addict, but in the weekends, my partner makes certain that our computer is used for Hyves, Facebook, MSN and Hotmail. The surfing is restricted to pages that contain answers to questions like 'Why does a dog have an owner when a cat has personnel?'

Whenever I type 'Dentaprime' or 'teeth', the computer is programmed to control, alt and delete.

However, on Monday morning, 7.30 AM sharp, I start up the Dentaprime computer and start reading. Just when I think I know everything about teeth, there is always something new.

This job is as unpredictable as a cat.

Dead woman walking!

2009-07-13T08:00:00.001+02:00

Today, it is exactly 54 years ago that Ruth Ellis, who was convicted of murder, was hanged. She was the last woman who was executed in the UK.

If the bars were in such bad state back then, Ruth would have lived for many more years.

The bars remind me of teeth. Some have broken, some are loose. There are gaps and the colour must have been different when the builder first put them in.

If the wall is still ok, all you need to pimp the cell is a bit of Hammerite metal paint and some new bars. It will cost money, of course, but in the end it will definitely keep the bad lads (or lassies) in and the saw in the cake out.

Suppose for a minute that your teeth look like these bars....

An NHS-dentist would probably tell you to have them all taken out and put ugly, after-one-month-already-ill-fitting dentures in.

A private dentist would probably tell you that, for 20.000 Pounds, he would be able to do a full reconstruction.

After you have recovered from this bad news, please ask what we can offer you. You may not want to do it openly yet, but deep inside, you will smile!

You cannot always get what you want (says Mick Jagger)

2009-07-10T08:00:00.002+02:00

Someone wanted to take a nice photo of a ... an .... a.... and ended up with this.
A pity, not a disaster.

It is a disaster if you go to a dentist for beautiful porcelain crowns and you return home with your teeth taken out.

To protect you against such unpleasant surprises, we do not make promises we cannot keep. If you ask our professional opinion about the condition of your teeth and the options for treatment, we will always tell you that we need to see you in person. A treatment plan that is drawn by another dentist can serve as a guideline, but that's about it. That local dentist does not have the high-tech equipment we use. We do not want to sound arrogant, but he probably would not be able to pay for it.

As we are 50-60% less expensive than dentists in your home country, it is not a big risk you run by spending a week or two in Bulgaria. It's sunny, it's interesting and it's the home of Dentaprime, which happens to be the best dental clinic in the area. Go there and get satisfaction!

Child's play

2009-07-09T08:00:00.000+02:00

I hate rollercoasters. You go up. Then you go dooooooooooooooooooooooown! And then you throw up again.

They are called Green Mambo, Python or Psycho.
When it's a Kingda Ka, it's 139 meters high.
When it's a Goliath, it can kill (even if you are not David.)

On June 2, 2001, a 28-year-old woman was found unconscious after a 3-minute ride on the Goliath roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain. She was brought to a nearby hospital, where she was pronounced dead.

Well... she had her 3 minutes of fun and more than 15 of fame.

I myself prefer having both feet on the ground. When I do get into one of the attractions, of course, it's the Mary-go-round.

In Varna, we have the Aquapolis Attraction Park. No rollercoasters here. Just water slides, HUGE water slides. Yuck!

The weather: it's raining dogs and cats (sorry, no men today)

2009-07-08T08:00:00.000+02:00

Although, in this picture, his parts all seem to have switched places, our Remi is a very beautiful Poodle. We like him to know. It gives a big boost to his already huge self-esteem.

Whenever he growls, uses the living room as the litte Poodle's room, barks or bites, we say "Nice doggie..... Good doggie....." until he stops. He always does. Stopping I mean. Eventually.

Some dentists also growl and they can not be stopped, not even by telling them that they are the best dentists in the whole wide world.

First they growl at you because you rescheduled the appointment (because you were terrified.)

Then because you are trembling (because you are scared to death).

Then because you want to know what he will do and why and with which tool and ......

Finally because you bite his middle finger, which you were certain he gave you.

Our dentists do not judge the condition your teeth are in.
They're pussies.
They can make your teeth purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fect.