Mockingbird

Years ago I heard this great song by Carly Simon and James Taylor:

Mock (yeah)
ing (yeah)
bird (yeah)
yeah (yeah)
Mockin'bird

Now everybody have you heard
He's gonna buy me a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don't sing
He's gonna buy me a diamond ring

I thought: Why not buy her that diamond ring anyway? Why wait if the bird's gonna sing or not? Will the ring get cheaper in the meantime? Isn't the ring in stock and does the guy need to buy some time? Why not try another store then? Finally, I got tired of all these useless questions, so I picked up a book and started reading.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee is one of the greatest novels of all time. The book is about race and justice in the American Deep South during the 1930s. One of the characters in the book is called Boo Radley. He lives in the Radley House and is a phantom. He's over six feet tall and has rotten yellow teeth. When bad things happen, Boo is usually blamed. By description only, this guy gives me the creeps. I might offer him a mouthful of dental implants and bridges (worth approx. 7000 Euros per jaw) if he promises to go away and stay away!

Curing by pulling

Around 1910, some people believed that extracting teeth could cure mental disorders.

Dr. Henry Cotton (Trenton, New Jersey hospital for the insane) thought that bacterial infections could cause brain damage and that he would emerge proof of that from practice.

When he did not get any results from making his patients toothless, he extracted their tonsils, and when this also proved ineffectual, he started taking away more vital organs.

Cotton claimed a cure rate of 85 percent. A thorough investigation, however, resulted in a death rate of nearly 43 percent! The medical authorities covered it up, and Cotton continued extracting teeth for many years! He clearly was obsessed and even had some of his own teeth extracted to cure his heart failure. His wife and two sons also lost teeth because of his strong convictions.

It didn't bring any good; they both committed suicide when they were still quite young.....

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword (Robert Burton)

"ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!!!!!

My name is d'Artagnan. D'ARTAGNAN! Unlike my friends Athos, Porthos and Aramis, I'm not a musketeer.

We're made up by a French guy called Alexandre Dumas. Lots of films were made about us. In 1999, a chap called Gordon Carpenter played Athos. It was well acted but some critics thought the gap in his upper front teeth was too obvious.

As if there were veneers back then!


Pierre Fauchard, another French guy and founder of modern dentistry, wasn't even born yet.

Did you know he was the first to think a patient should be seated in a comfortable chair? Until then, patient and dentist sat on the floor with the patient's head between the dentists legs, holding on to the dentists knee's for support. Pierre thought hat this was not respectful towards women.

He also thought a dentist should stand behind instead of in front of his patient, to avoid fear.

Musketeers don't know fear! Well OK... real musketeers don't!"






Anyway, I prefer The Two Mouseketeers. Doesn't Tom look fearless here?."

Temporary but definitely false

After the removal of your teeth, it takes several months for your jawbone and gums to heal. You don't want to walk around toothless, not even for one day, so your dentist will fit a temporary denture.

Don't worry... Although they will look very unnatural, they won't look like these.

Temporary...hm... sounds as if your natural teeth will be returning after some time. Of course, they won't.

As your jaw heals, the temporary denture will start to become loose and need adjusting. This is not included in our price and costs approx. 100 - 150 (UK, where dentist charge sky-high prices) Euros.

Your long-term denture can be fitted after 6 months.

A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase.
"If I had to have false teeth, mother, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, Willie," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm, "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"

It's magic

Last Saturday, when Russia (Dutch coach...) beat the Dutch national soccer team with 3-1, I was in the theatre.

'Handsome Hans' (Klok) creates illusions. He does card tricks (of course he does!), but also floats one of the girls in the air, has his body split, locks up a lady in a cage and frees another lady from the same cage etc. etc. In Las Vegas, his assistant was Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson. Unfortunately, she did not come with him to Holland. Nevertheless, it was a fantastic evening and there was absolutely no way that I could see through the tricks.

Many kids and some adults wear braces. Usually they hate them, even the 'invisible' ones. By the force of braces teeth move about a millimeter per month. This means you will have to wear them for quite a long time before your teeth are straight.

With dental veneers, we create an illusion. Teeth will appear straight, even or white again, and the gap that has been there for ages seems to have vanished.

Unlike Hans Klok, we'll gladly unveil our 'trick'.

Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down (Ray Bradbury)

Cheetahs can purr very loudly. This makes them sound like what we always say they are: big cats.

However, they also capture their prey by chasing it over 10-30 meters with a top speed of about 97 km/hr. I guess, on a good day, my lazy cat Billie has a top speed of 3 and gives up after just as many meters...

Hidden danger....

Many at-home teeth whitening kits contain much more than the EU recommended 6% of hydrogen peroxide and 18% of carbamide peroxide. Dentist James Goolnik, Vice-President of the British Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, says: “They are sold as ‘safe’ but can easily harm someone, especially if a dentist has not advised the patient on whether their teeth are even suitable for whitening. The public must understand that these gels, with such a high amount of chemicals, could burn people’s gums or damage teeth permanently.”

Only a dentist can judge whether your teeth are suitable for a whitening procedure. In our clinic, we use ultrasonic teeth whitening. The price is 199 Euros.

As they said to the DJ: put the needle on the record!!

I take blood thinners and so, every 8 weeks, I have to go to the hospital to have my blood checked. I don't mind. Usually, the only trace of this bi-monthly abuse is a tiny needle mark in my arm, but even that miraculously disappears after just a few days.


Thinking of needles going into my gums (I have dentures for 30 years now) still gives me the creeps. I've never been needle-phobic, but it was close! And I remember one time when a specialized dentist tried to extract one of my brother's teeth. Frank has Down's Syndrome and when he is afraid, he is very, very strong. They tried everything: distraction, holding him down with three men, laughing gas... It all worked fine until... he saw the needle. In the end, they removed the tooth under general anaesthetics. That worked, because he gets the anti-flu virus every year, so he is used to getting injected in his arm.

Needles are used to take blood, to sedate, to give fluids and medication (intravenous drip), give insulin etc. etc. etc., so if you are terrified by the sight or thought of them, you have a huge problem and so has your doctor. Officially it is called Belonephobia, the fear of sharp objects.
For good information: http://www.needlephobia.info/